Broke Ground Today

So I’ve lurking and liking some of the posts. I’m enjoying this view into PROCESS.

After the research and the planning, I was able to finally get it rolling and I banged out the opening scene this afternoon. Came in at 699 words…just to taunt me I suppose.

With this project (uhh, book) I am attempting to be methodical and thoughtful about the writing. In planning the book out, I first wrote up a few log lines or blurbs. The idea is that they will help keep me on track and also provide me with a clear blurb or pitch to throw out there when I can.

Once I got reasonably close to a working log line, I filled out detailed character sheets so that I would have a strong grasp on my four main characters. I would rather not learn about them as I write them.

I am currently working on the outline, but I know enough about the overall story structure that I feel I can press forward, hence today’s session. A friend of mine who has years of screen writing experience is helping me to make sure that my story is properly paced. He’s already helped me figure out several aspects of the story that were eluding me.

So anyway, happy to have written and to have something to report. Here are two blurbs for consideration…the first is more of a novel blurb, the second has more a film feel to it.

Log Line 1:

In an attempt to hide from a damaged past, a struggling drug addict moves to St. Augustine and begins renovations on his dead father’s home; but when he opens a portal to the afterlife, he must learn to take responsibility for his past actions, before the city’s souls are lost to the abyss, and in order to defeat the self-perpetuating monster that is his addiction.

Don’t love it, but it’s pretty much the story.

Log Line 2:

At the Gates of St. Augustine is a horror drama about Jesse Cruce, a struggling drug addict who after leaving rehab wants to escape his past by hiding in dead father’s house but when he accidentally opens a portal to the afterlife, he has to stop a demonic force from destroying it which seems impossible because it is fueled by his inability to stay clean and the presence of his ex-girlfriend using partner.

Not perfect, but even closer to what it’s all about.

See you all on Wednesday 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Broke Ground Today

  1. Ooh, this is a game that I love.
    Blurb rule #1: don’t waste words. The person looking at the blurb already knows the title and genre (if your blurb is a marketing blurb, anyway–not a pitch to an agent.)
    Blurb rule #2: entice, don’t reveal. (Ditto the part about marketing blurb, rather than agent blurb–they aren’t the same thing, which is a mistake way too many indies make. IMO, I guess.)
    Blurb rule #3: action words, action words, more action words (applicable to both types).

    So:

    Jesse Cruce wants to escape his past. As a struggling drug addict, he thought rehab was hell, but it turns out renovating his dead father’s house in St. Augustine is worse. When he accidentally opens a portal to the afterlife, he unleashes a demonic force capable of dragging the city’s souls into the abyss. Jesse might be able to stop it–but only if he can defeat the self-perpetuating monster of his addiction first.

    I think “capable of” is pretty weak, actually, but without a clearer idea of what your demonic force is up to, I couldn’t do better. I’d like something more like, “he unleashes a demon, eager to amuse itself by tormenting the city’s souls.” A more personal enemy, if you will, and with an outcome less vague than “abyss.” It also would be stronger if “it turns out renovating his dead father’s house in St. Augustine is” became something more like “renovating his dead father’s house in St. Augustine teaches him the real meaning of the word.” “Turns out” and “is” are both weak verbs and could be improved upon.

    🙂 Feel free to ignore me, of course. I love rewriting other people’s blurbs! I hate writing my own.

    And I am very envious of the screenwriting friend who can help with pacing. Pacing is hard!

    See ya Wednesday.

    • Good stuff. I appreciate the feedback. In this case, I was using a screen writing log line template to come up with something. I felt that it organized my thoughts, and with minor tweaks, I have a couple blurbs for pitches. For marketing, your edits are much stronger and more interesting. Awesomesauce. 🙂

  2. Oh, very exciting on the blog post and on the suggestions. I agree with the idea that writing it with more active verbs and imagery will give it more life. At this point, there isn’t anything additional that I can add from what Wendy said. She’s VERY thorough. 😉

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